Thursday, 25 October 2012

When you haven't posted for a while, it's a struggle to know where to begin.  Usually, I've started a new year at GSA with a new post "And so it begins" etc, but I can't be bothered with that this time, and I can't be bothered with a catch up post either!

It's been a difficult start to final year - I'd gotten myself into a bit of a state about it and the pressure that is heaped on you when you first get back, didn't help.  Unfortunately, it's all self-imposed, so I only have myself to blame.  The reality is that yes, there is a lot of pressure this year - we all want to make good work and have successful degree show - but we also have a great bunch of tutors who are being extremely supportive.  There have been plenty tutorials available and the 2 group sessions I've had already, were lively to say the least - fab stuff.  The pressure was lifted when I decided that writing the dissertation is not for me and have settled on the extended essay.  Thankfully, that meant that I'd already written enough material during summer to take the essay from.  It's almost there ... or thereabouts!

Part of the pressure was that I really felt 'interrupted' by the summer break - I felt I had been on to something at the end of 3rd year, but it had to stop for summer and catching up on work and writing the essay etc.  I'd wanted to write the dissertation, just to say I'd written one - part of my ambition about being at university - but also because I had a self-limiting belief that 'I'd probably never be an artist anyway'!  So it came as a bit of a surprise when I really started to panic about not making any work - I realised I want to be an artist more than I think I'd let myself admit to.

Pretty early in the term to be having an ah ha moment, but a really good one - and good timing!

That said, I still struggling to find focus for what I want this year to be about for me and for my work; I'm struggling to focus at all if I'm honest.  However, am determined to get there and so picking up this blog is part of that process.  Watch this space!!!


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