Monday, 10 May 2010

On Blogging 2

I had a chat with L the other day and one of the subjects we talked about was blogging. She has a blog which is mainly image based, her partner J (who is also a tutor at GSA) has a very thoughtful and educational one, T has one about all her ideas (which is growing rapidly!) and then there's mine, which is really a bit of a blether and which I worry has no substance!

But that's actually not what got me thinking about the blogging bit; it was actually recent posts by both T and J about sharing ideas, trust and integrity etc. And they have really got me going. T is concerned that by posting her ideas, she risks others stealing them - she has an awful lot of them, really good ones. (She has since made her blog private which is a shame as she is a fab writer and really interesting to read.) J responded on his about how lecturers give ideas away all the time, and that sharing ideas is part of the process of becoming an artist. All of this got me thinking about me, my ideas (or lack of them) and being open enough to share my thoughts and ideas with others. My worry, as I responded to J's post, is that because I don't have lots of ideas, people might think I'm ripping them off. I also commented that I sometimes can't start something because I know it's been done before and that I also hold back for fear of looking silly!

Then I read J's latest blog (which I still have to respond to) which is about the trust and integrity of tutors, Privacy and Honour. He points out:
Shared personal information creates a bond of trust between people, especially if they’re friends. The value and meaning of this bond is based on a two way relationship which acknowledges both the value of privacy and the possibility of betrayal. Friends are, in part, judged on their discretion and trustworthiness.
...Teachers, as representatives of institutions, also carry this burden of responsibility...
...Just as friends are judged on their discretion, so teachers are judged on their integrity...
Now, I know I'm only taking certain parts of Js blog and applying them to my own thinking (the whole blog starts with freedom of information) but it really had an impact on me and my current realisation that in order to become 'who I'm meant to be', I have to let go of 'who I used to be'! I'm sure that sounds very dramatic, but I realised that in order to really embrace this opportunity I have, of being at GSA, of being an artist in some capacity, I have to 'let go'. I have let go of my suburban housewife era, of being sensible and straight, of my businesslike control, of not taking chances, of self-doubt, of self-limiting beliefs, of never saying what I feel for fear of how I will appear to others, of sharing my ideas, of trusting that this is the right time and right place - to realise that I will never get this chance again to grow and become the person I think I was meant to be (although I'm not entirely sure who that is yet!) And that is REALLY, really scary!!

Which brings me back to blogging! As far as I'm aware, there are only 3 people who read this blog (so if you're not P, T or L, please let me know, it would be lovely to hear from you!) and sometimes I hold back on my blogging because I know they will read it. I suspect that's why my blog is a bit blethery and doesn't have much substance.

So here's to honest blogging from now on!

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