Sunday, 16 May 2010

First Year Over

So here I am thinking about what the end of first year means to me and I still have a list of things that have been happening that I wanted to blog about. However, time moves on - and doesn't it just!

I seems like not that long ago I was an extremely nervous, middle-aged woman feeling very out of place waiting to register as a 1st year student. And thankgoodness I was so nervous; if I hadn't left that queue to go to the loo, I would never have met T (I lost my place and had to go to the back again - she stood next to me, we got chatting, the rest will be history!) It only seems like a few weeks ago that I had to join in with a group of predominantly young people and make machines that would draw - they all got covered in paint, very messy, and me all neat and tidy!

And now here I am, just finished putting all my work into the studio for end of year assessments. What a year it's been - I originally applied for direct entry to 2nd year - but I wouldn't have missed it for the world. It's had it's highs and lows but the highs far, far outweigh the lows.

For me (and for T) some of the past year has been quite traumatic - quite a lot of soul searching and facing up to personal issues etc, but I was surprised to hear that we're not alone. I was talking to some of the others in my class and they all felt the same - being at art school is a bit like being in therapy! We've all been experiencing 'growing pains'; shedding previous existences, ideas and beliefs and becoming different people.

I was really interested in what one of the guys in the class had to say at the final crit on Thursday. He talked about the ocean as a metaphor for what he was going through - deep, overwhelming and vast - the expansion of himself and his knowledge that he was going through. I spoke to him afterwards about how I knew how he felt, that I felt similar. That every lecture, every discussion, every tutorial seems to be pushing the boundaries of how I think and feel. That just when I thought I there wouldn't be much more to my life than work and photography as a hobby, the very core of who I am is being challenged by the learning process we are going through. He was very sweet - pointed out that if that's how I feel at my age how did I think he felt at his age (he's only 19!) Feels that just when he thought he was beginning to work out who he was, the ground has been pulled from under him.

Just goes to prove that you're never too old or too young to learn and grow, and that whenever, wherever, it's an amazing experience to be embraced and enjoyed.


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